It’s 5:00 PM, I walk in the door from work, completely exhausted, barely gripping my 1-year-old on my hip. Setting him down, he immediately starts to cry because he wants to go outside.
I have absolutely no energy to go outside at this point, and I already know what’s going happen.
He will want to run free, while I try to fight him from running down the cement driveway so that he doesn’t fall and scuff his knees. After a few minutes, I reluctantly give in, knowing he hasn’t been outside all day (and let’s be honest, I haven’t either). I want to be a good mom, and my child could use some Vitamin D.
At this point, my son is grabbing at the door handle and nearly in tears, dying to go outside. Mom guilt suddenly hits.
“OK, OK, let’s go outside, buddy.”
I just want to enjoy this moment with my son, soaking up the nice weather, but am dreading dinner time. What in the world am I going to make him? Do we have any healthy foods or vegetables to feed him? What can he eat to fill him up? He’s had ten sweet potatoes already this week, his face will turn orange soon if I give him another. Should I chop up those red potatoes and saute them? No, he can’t eat that, it’s too unhealthy.
Within five minutes, he breaks away, runs down the driveway, and scuffs his knees.
Good lord, why do I always do this to myself? My stress level sky rockets and I feel even more mom guilt at this point, cradling him in my arms, knowing I could’ve prevented it. I take him inside, and while he screams bloody murder before the neighbors start staring at me.
Finally, I’ve got him calmed down, washed up, and in his high chair, except I have no food ready, and he is starving.
I have approximately two minutes before we both have total breakdowns.
Desperate for him not to cry, I find a stale bag of Goldfish to give him, as I cannot bear to have him cry any longer.
I just need a break. I am so sick of doing this every single day. It seems like such a simple task but is so exhausting.
Digging through the freezer, I give up trying to think of something healthy and throw a frozen bean and cheese burrito in the microwave for his dinner. Hey, it’s Organic, so it’s kind of healthy. Right?
In the meantime, he also scarfs down some tomatoes and grapes, but the good Lord knows it will probably give him butt rash by tomorrow morning that I’ll have to deal with.
Sitting down, I realize I have no clue what I am going to eat, but to be honest, I am too exhausted to get up and cook anything for myself. This is my one moment to relax for the next two hours, and I am going to soak it up. I can eat after he’s in bed. Right?
Fast forward through dinner, clean up, bath time, story time and wrestling with him to go to bed, my night is finally over and I get to relax. Wow, my brain hurts. I just need to sit here and contemplate what I need to do now. Oh yes, eat… must eat.
I settle for a quick bowl of Organic cereal and almond milk because it is partially healthy, right? Don’t mind the sugar content. The quicker I eat, the quicker I get to lay down, the quicker I get to go to bed, only to repeat this all again tomorrow.
*sigh*
Does this sound familiar? Does this sound just like YOUR night too?
Mama, I am here to tell you that you are not the only one who feels exhausted and overwhelmed every single day. Just like many other mama’s, we are all in your same shoes.
Do not feel inadequate that you struggle through your day with your kids just like every other mama.
Do not feel like a bad mom that you were too exhausted to cook your child a healthy five-course meal.
Do not feel guilty that you couldn’t give your child the best version of yourself.
Because do you know what? You are still a super star in his eyes. He looks up to you like you rule the world. He sees you as his confidant, his protector, his comfort, and most of all, his sweet mama. He thinks the absolute world of you because you gave him life, and God chose YOU to be his mama for a reason.
So, don’t feel guilty for dreading dinner time. Don’t feel bad that you couldn’t protect him from scuffing his knees. Don’t feel bad for feeling like he’s not getting the best of you.
YOU ARE AMAZING because you’re a mom. And being a mom is one of the hardest, stressful, overwhelming and exhausting jobs in the entire world. It will test your limits every day and your job never ends. You work 90+ hours a week when your kids are awake to ensure they are happy, well fed and thriving through life. And that doesn’t include working full time, or spending long nights nursing a newborn, or comforting a teething a child who just needs to be wrapped in his mama’s arms at 3:00 AM.
Momma, you are enough. And you are doing an amazing job, so give yourself a big hug. You deserve it.
